We retrieved three eggs, all mature, all fertilized. Day 5 Transfer of two blastocyst grade AA and AB. Quite frankly, I couldn't believe it! My prematurely old ovaries still kicked out a few good eggs. My beta is tomorrow. I did a HPT this morning and it was negative. I felt so positive before the test. Two blastocysts! Great looking! But negative.
My husband was very sad. I couldn't help feeling like I let him down. Like he married a defective person. I know this isn't logical thinking - I just feel horrible that I can't do what so many people can do effortlessly. My mom got pregnant with my brother at 37 the first month she tried! I keep asking myself why this is happening to me?? (Gosh, what an original thought that is...)
I told myself before this IVF that I was done using my own eggs. But then they surprised me. So, now I'm in a gray area. I'm not sure how to move forward - but I know I will move forward. Throughout this process I've learned it's about perseverance. Most of all, I learned I married the right guy. The love I feel from him is overwhelming. Truly. I'm very lucky.
