If not, check it out - now!
Redbook's Campaign to End the Shame of Infertility
The Truth about Trying
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Mammogram
Giuliana Rancic has breast cancer. I've been watching their show since it first started primarily because it focused on IF. I can't help but watch anything dealing with IF. I also watch The Little Couple (but there issue is a little different). Give me a good infertility story and I'll tune in :) I've been expecting to hear that Giuliana's IVF treatment worked and a pregnancy announcement. I was shocked this morning when I heard.
She said her IVF doc (Dr. Schoolcraft at CCRM) insisted she get a mammogram before doing the third IVF round because if there was any sign of breast cancer, the pregnancy would put it into hyperdrive. Wow, I had no idea.
I turn 36 in just under a month. And I'm trying to get pregnant. No history of breast cancer in my family. But I'm getting a mammogram. I made an appointment today.
She said her IVF doc (Dr. Schoolcraft at CCRM) insisted she get a mammogram before doing the third IVF round because if there was any sign of breast cancer, the pregnancy would put it into hyperdrive. Wow, I had no idea.
I turn 36 in just under a month. And I'm trying to get pregnant. No history of breast cancer in my family. But I'm getting a mammogram. I made an appointment today.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Still here...
I'm still here - chugging along on the roller coaster. We're getting closer to the finish line. We had a few things to complete before even choosing a donor and we are checking stuff off everyday. Simple things like a semen analysis and pap smear as well as more advanced stuff like counseling and a sonohistogram. Oh, ya and picking a donor.
My husband performed his part (the SA) wonderfully. He was really impressed with the selection of videos and magazines at our new clinic. He said it was A+ material. I figure with the money we pay them that they should have blow up dolls in there...but, what do I know?
My sonohistogram is scheduled for next week and then my pap after that. Let's hope some of my reproductive organs are still working properly, shall we? Fingers crossed.
We had our required counseling session last night. Even though I'd been to that therapist before, I was still nervous. It went just fine. We even laughed a few times. I've really been struggling with who to tell about DE and when. She told me that just because you keep something private doesn't mean it's a secret. She's right. Why do I feel that I must confess this to everyone? It's not their business. I just don't want the eventual child to feel like they have something to be ashamed of - and I think I thought that meant full disclosure. She helped me to see that I can share this with who I want to tell, but I can also chose not to share.
I also saw my RE for IVF #2 this week. He's a nice man, but he was playing up the concerned doctor a bit too much. When he walked in, he immediately grabbed both my hands and asked me, "How are you? Really?" Um, I'm fine. And then he said more problingly, "No, really. How are you? You must be devasted." Well if I wasn't before, I am now. I took a deep breath and wondered how to address this because really, does he want me to pour out my heart to him? No. I know this. He wants style points for concern. He gets them, but let's move on. In order to override the uncomfortable moment, I immediately begin discussing donor eggs. He agrees, but he goes back to my 'awesome blastocysts' and says if we wanted to try again, then we could. I tell him I agree that maybe we could, but I just didn't think it was worth it. I told him I was ready to have a baby and I didn't really want to go through any more IVFs with such a low chance of success. He took my hands again and looked deep in my eyes. Then he said, "I understand."
Did he just read a Harlequin romance? What is this? He's never been like this before. It was kind of starting to creep me out. So, I again launch into how his donor program works. They pick the donor, it takes 6 months, no pictures, and all donors are shared cycles. Although it's much cheaper, this is not for us. I need pictures and I need to pick the donor. I'm willing to pay for that.
I think we have picked our donor. Nothing is for sure, of course, until I make the payment. I want to wait until I've got the medical all clear from my new doc. And then if all the stars align properly, I guess we'll be on our way.
I thought DE would be so much easier and in some ways it is - but in other ways, there are so many hurdles to jump. Until next time, I'll be the one running towards the next hurdle - hoping to make the jump :)
My husband performed his part (the SA) wonderfully. He was really impressed with the selection of videos and magazines at our new clinic. He said it was A+ material. I figure with the money we pay them that they should have blow up dolls in there...but, what do I know?
My sonohistogram is scheduled for next week and then my pap after that. Let's hope some of my reproductive organs are still working properly, shall we? Fingers crossed.
We had our required counseling session last night. Even though I'd been to that therapist before, I was still nervous. It went just fine. We even laughed a few times. I've really been struggling with who to tell about DE and when. She told me that just because you keep something private doesn't mean it's a secret. She's right. Why do I feel that I must confess this to everyone? It's not their business. I just don't want the eventual child to feel like they have something to be ashamed of - and I think I thought that meant full disclosure. She helped me to see that I can share this with who I want to tell, but I can also chose not to share.
I also saw my RE for IVF #2 this week. He's a nice man, but he was playing up the concerned doctor a bit too much. When he walked in, he immediately grabbed both my hands and asked me, "How are you? Really?" Um, I'm fine. And then he said more problingly, "No, really. How are you? You must be devasted." Well if I wasn't before, I am now. I took a deep breath and wondered how to address this because really, does he want me to pour out my heart to him? No. I know this. He wants style points for concern. He gets them, but let's move on. In order to override the uncomfortable moment, I immediately begin discussing donor eggs. He agrees, but he goes back to my 'awesome blastocysts' and says if we wanted to try again, then we could. I tell him I agree that maybe we could, but I just didn't think it was worth it. I told him I was ready to have a baby and I didn't really want to go through any more IVFs with such a low chance of success. He took my hands again and looked deep in my eyes. Then he said, "I understand."
Did he just read a Harlequin romance? What is this? He's never been like this before. It was kind of starting to creep me out. So, I again launch into how his donor program works. They pick the donor, it takes 6 months, no pictures, and all donors are shared cycles. Although it's much cheaper, this is not for us. I need pictures and I need to pick the donor. I'm willing to pay for that.
I think we have picked our donor. Nothing is for sure, of course, until I make the payment. I want to wait until I've got the medical all clear from my new doc. And then if all the stars align properly, I guess we'll be on our way.
I thought DE would be so much easier and in some ways it is - but in other ways, there are so many hurdles to jump. Until next time, I'll be the one running towards the next hurdle - hoping to make the jump :)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
One checkmark
We've decided on a clinic (I think)!
The new doc was nice, personable, and spent over an hour with me. I went in with a list of questions and he answered each one with thoroughness. The previous DE IVF clinic we visited suggested that I have a hysteroscopy before moving forward. He said this was standard procedure for DE IVF. The new clinic (I'll call them clinic B), said a saline sonohistogram was fine and the hysteroscopy would only be used if something was found on the previous test. I will admit to being a bit confused because if the hysteroscopy is the gold standard - then why not just use that? Well, it's about $5,000 to start with and while it does give more details - it's more for a procedures (like removing things) then just looking for things. Well, that makes sense. I drilled down on him about this for 30 minutes. If I'm going to spend all this money on donor eggs, I want to make sure that they have a nice comfy pad to grow.
Next steps: a semen analysis for my husband, annual pap for me, a couple counseling session on donor eggs, and a saline sonohistogram for me. Then once we get the all clear - we pick a donor. I have several profiles saved from a few different agencies and I will admit to having a favorite - but I want to make sure the uterus is all good before we move forward. I can't imagine there is a problem because I had an HSG 2 years ago and in the meantime I've had a million ultrasounds - but I just never know with my uterus. I need that peace of mind before moving forward.
I also talked at length about immunology with the new doc. He said (and I agree) that diminished ovarian reserve is the most likely reason that I'm not getting pregnant. And yes, last cycle we made blasts but that doesn't mean they were normal. In fact, they probably weren't. And then he said what I really needed to hear - "I agree with you that it is time to move on. You gave it a good shot, but the best thing you can do to have a take home baby is use donor eggs." Wow, I cannot tell you how much better that made me feel. I needed someone to say that to me.
He didn't discount the immunology, but he said it's too early to tell if it is factor for me. I don't know about this because I obviously have some immune issues (Hashimoto's and high-ish ANA), but so do lots of people who get pregnant with no issues. For now, I have to go with my gut. Prematurely old eggs is what I think the issue has been all along. So, we'll get some young whippersnapper eggs and see what happens.
I wanted to say a special thank you to Brave IVF Girl for her help with the donor process. She really helped me figure out where to start and the next steps.
I'm feeling good overall. When I hear a pregnancy announcement, I don't immediately feel dread. I feel like this might really happen for us too. Fingers crossed!
The new doc was nice, personable, and spent over an hour with me. I went in with a list of questions and he answered each one with thoroughness. The previous DE IVF clinic we visited suggested that I have a hysteroscopy before moving forward. He said this was standard procedure for DE IVF. The new clinic (I'll call them clinic B), said a saline sonohistogram was fine and the hysteroscopy would only be used if something was found on the previous test. I will admit to being a bit confused because if the hysteroscopy is the gold standard - then why not just use that? Well, it's about $5,000 to start with and while it does give more details - it's more for a procedures (like removing things) then just looking for things. Well, that makes sense. I drilled down on him about this for 30 minutes. If I'm going to spend all this money on donor eggs, I want to make sure that they have a nice comfy pad to grow.
Next steps: a semen analysis for my husband, annual pap for me, a couple counseling session on donor eggs, and a saline sonohistogram for me. Then once we get the all clear - we pick a donor. I have several profiles saved from a few different agencies and I will admit to having a favorite - but I want to make sure the uterus is all good before we move forward. I can't imagine there is a problem because I had an HSG 2 years ago and in the meantime I've had a million ultrasounds - but I just never know with my uterus. I need that peace of mind before moving forward.
I also talked at length about immunology with the new doc. He said (and I agree) that diminished ovarian reserve is the most likely reason that I'm not getting pregnant. And yes, last cycle we made blasts but that doesn't mean they were normal. In fact, they probably weren't. And then he said what I really needed to hear - "I agree with you that it is time to move on. You gave it a good shot, but the best thing you can do to have a take home baby is use donor eggs." Wow, I cannot tell you how much better that made me feel. I needed someone to say that to me.
He didn't discount the immunology, but he said it's too early to tell if it is factor for me. I don't know about this because I obviously have some immune issues (Hashimoto's and high-ish ANA), but so do lots of people who get pregnant with no issues. For now, I have to go with my gut. Prematurely old eggs is what I think the issue has been all along. So, we'll get some young whippersnapper eggs and see what happens.
I wanted to say a special thank you to Brave IVF Girl for her help with the donor process. She really helped me figure out where to start and the next steps.
I'm feeling good overall. When I hear a pregnancy announcement, I don't immediately feel dread. I feel like this might really happen for us too. Fingers crossed!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)