Back in the Saddle

I took a much needed break from all things fertility related for two months.  I gave myself a lot of time to think, drink wine, and reflect.

This is what I learned:
- Margaritas are delicious
- A nice tan makes you look slimmer
- Accepting people for who they are is much easier than trying to change them
- Tubing is way more fun when you're 15, but being out on the water is still wonderful
- S'mores are the most wonderful thing about a summer campfire...and a good burnt hot dog
- Cleaning and organizing makes me feel in control
- I love the feel of sand between my toes
- If you truly want to be a parent, there's a 100% chance that you will be

I went to my parent's house for a week this summer.  For some of you this may not seem like a big deal, but for me, it's huge.   While I don't have a volatile relationship with my mom or step-dad, we're also not close.  My whole family is a bit narcissistic and before I went to therapy I could never understand why I was so angry at them all the time.  After therapy, I get it.  Although my family loves me, they love themselves more.  I'm basically a shadow in their own self centered lives.  With all this infertility stuff, I expected my mom to be there for me - because television and books have led me to believe that moms 'should' do that kind of stuff.  We had a bit of a blow out about her selfish ways and that led to me going to see them for a few days.  While I was there, I realized they are never going to be different.  It's up to me to set boundaries with them and when I did that, it was fine.  The best thing that happened is that I got away from my daily life with my husband and friends.  I had some quiet time.  And I realized that somehow, someway this is all going to work out.  I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So, here I am.  Putting one foot in front of the other.  I'm promising to stay positive and be in the moment as much as possible.  It's going to happen for all of us - one way or another.  Keep the faith.

My baseline ultrasound is Wednesday.  Welcome back to the craziest ride of your life :)